When is a door not a door?

I love spending time with Grandma, she always cheers me up when I am having a hard time.  I remember when I was younger, maybe in Jr. High I am not sure, she started reading me these jokes about old people that she had gotten in an email.  I still remember those jokes and tell them to people today.  They were so funny to us at the time that we were crying, laughing, and couldn't catch our breath.  When my mom came to pick me up we were still laughing so hysterically that she thought something was wrong.  We tried to tell her the jokes, but didn't find it quite as funny as we did.  Even now, Grandma knows the importance of laughter in getting through hard times. It reminds me of one of my favorite conference talks by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin called "Come What May and Love It." In the talk he says about going through times of trial, "one of the first things we can do is learn to laugh." Just the other day, knowing that I was going through a hard time, Grandma told me a riddle and then suggested that I keep a book of jokes or funny stories with me to turn to when I need a good laugh.

Joke #1
An 87-year old man, on his death bed and in pain, smells the aroma of fresh baked chocolate chip cookies coming from outside his bedroom. He thinks to himself, "my dear wife must be making my favorite cookies as a sentiment to our final hours together." So he musters up what little strength he has remaining in his feeble body and drags himself out of bed.
Fighting off the pain and weakness, he stumbles into the hallway, down the stairs, and to the kitchen door. There, on the table, he sees a huge plate of chocolate chip cookies, the steam rising from the plate, the chocolate chips still soft and gooey. He thinks, "God bless my devoted wife for giving me such pleasure in my final hours on this earth", and he then falls to the floor and crawls towards the cookies.
He gets to the table and, with the last ounce of strength he has left, reaches up with his hand to take a cookie. Just then, he feels the stinging Whack! of a metal spatula against his knuckles.
He looks up to see his wife standing over him, saying "Don't you dare touch those cookies, they're for the funeral guests!"

Joke #2
Three elderly sisters lived together; ages 96, 94, and 92. One night the 96 year old draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yells. The 94 year old hollers back "I don't know, I'll come up to see." She starts up the stairs and stops. She shouts "Was I going up or going down?" The 92 year old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get forgetful" and knocks on wood for good measure. Then she yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door." 

GRANDMA'S SHOES

When I was very little,
all the Grandmas that I knew.
walked around this world
in ugly grandma shoes.

You know the ones I speak of,
those clunky black heeled kind,
they just looked so very awful
that it weighed upon my mind,

For I knew, when I grew old.
I'd have to wear those shoes,
I'd think of that, from time to time
It seemed like such bad news.

I never was a rebel,
wore saddle shoes to school.
Next came ballerinas,
then the sandals, pretty cool.

Then came spikes with pointed toes
then platforms, very tall.
As each new fashion came along,
I wore them, one and all.

But always, in the distance,
Looming in my future, there;
was that awful pair of ugly shoes,
the kind that Grandmas wear.

I eventually got married,
and then became a Mom.
My kids grew up and left,
And then their children came along.

I knew I was a Grandma,
and the time was drawing near,
when those clunky, black, old lace up shoes,
was what I'd have to wear.

How would I do my gardening,
or take my morning hike?
I couldn't even think about
how I would ride my bike!

But fashions kept evolving,
and one day I realized,
that the shape of things to come
was changing, right before my eyes.


And now, when I go shopping,
what I see, fills me with glee,
for, in my jeans and Reeboks,
I'm as comfy as can be.

And I look at all these teenage girls,
and there, upon their feet,
are clunky, black, old Grandma shoes,
and they really think they're neat.

We thought the poem was particularly funny as well because Jr. High was the time when I was very experimental with my style and I had a particularly clunky pair of shoes that fit the description so well, while Grandma told me the poem in her tennis shoes so we had a good laugh over that one as well.

I have fond memories of our Christmas Eve parties and the poster "For Unto A Child is Born" that she has kept for years. And gathering around all of the Aunts, Uncles, Grandchildren, etc.  Even though that tradition comes once a year, she truly exemplifies the Christmas spirit all year long through her humility, faith, service, and Christlike love.

-Amanda

My call to Seoul, Korea